On Children from the book The Prophet is a moving piece of parenting advice from Kahlil Gibran and a favourite of mine.
On Children Poem
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Meaning of On Children
Here’s my interpretation of Gibran’s words.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
Humans are a product of this universe and natural forces at play.
Parents take credit for giving birth to children, but parents are only a ‘medium’ through which life expresses itself.
Whenever the environment is conducive for growth, life takes birth again and again. We see this in the animal kingdom, often forgetting we are part of the same animal kingdom and nature.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Gibran’s words are about possessiveness parents often exhibit regarding their children.
Parents are a vehicle through which children are born. But children are not possessions of their parents. Each of us is holding our children in trust for the future.
We need to care for children till they are independent, just as our parents did for us, and our grandparents did for our parents. And so on life moves forward.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
Rabindranath Tagore said: ‘The one who plants trees, knowing that he will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life.‘
The only gift we can give our children is the gift of love. Children fondly remember the unconditional love they received from parents.
We need to prepare children for life.
Preparation is not the same as filling impressionable minds with our own thoughts, unfulfilled desires and expectations.
The best preparation for life is for children to learn how to think for themselves. Parents’ role is to guide them through this long journey.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
Parents need to take care of basic needs of their children.
Each of our previous generations has lived in a different environment than the one we live in. So it is going to be with our children. Their world will be different than ours. Be confident that our children are equipped to deal with the future they will live in, just like we were equipped for the world we live in.
Each generation’s role is to leave the world a little better than the one they inherited. Apart from love, that is the biggest gift we can give to our children.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
Children always live in the present without any regrets about the past or worries of the future. Grown-ups need to learn this attitude from children.
Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said: “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.”
Most of us will understand the meaning of life very late in life, if at all. The best we can do is to live our life the best way we can in the present. The only thing available for us to live in is the ‘eternal now’.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
Gibran draws a beautiful analogy here by calling parents ‘bows’ and children ‘arrows.’
Parents’ role is to be the bow, that powers their children’s journey, aimed towards the future the children will live in.
The more flexible the bow, the more it bends.
The stronger the bowstring, the more it can be stretched, and the more power it can pass to the arrow.
The steadier the aim, the more accurately the arrow will fly on its journey towards a different space and time.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might,
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Gibran refers to God as the archer and God’s role in using the bow (parents) to send forth the arrows (children who are Life itself) towards an infinite future.
We have reached here today standing on the achievements of past generations. This cycle of life will continue for untold generations in the future. We need to perform our assigned roles in the time we have.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
The children as arrows go into the future to become bows for their own children and so on the cycle of life continues.
Our effort in the present should be driven by unselfish love, kindness and humbly accepting the part we play in this journey of life.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does the author say ‘your children are not your children’? or Whose sons and daughters are children?
Parents are a ‘medium’ through which life in the form of children expresses itself. Gibran’s words are not to be taken literally. The point he is making is that parents should not be possessive of their children.
Who does the word bows refer to in On Children? Who are sent forth as living arrows?
Kahlil Gibran calls parents as “bows”. Parents’ role is to prepare children (as “arrows”) for their journey of life into the future.
Who is the archer in the poem On Children?
Archer in the poem refers to the principle that drives the universe by whatever name you recognize it – God, Reality, Totality, Universal Consciousness, the Ultimate Truth.
Swami Nikhilananda Saraswati has written a beautiful blog explaining various phrases in the poem like ‘Life’s longing for itself‘, ‘they come through you but not from you‘, and so on. Do take time to go through it.
Books by Kahlil Gibran
Kahlil Gibran’s best-known work, The Prophet, is a book of 26 poetic essays written in English. Kahlil Gibran took more than 11 years to formulate and perfect this book.
The Prophet represents the height of Gibran’s literary career as he came to be noted as ‘the bard of Washington Street’. The twelve illustrations in this volume are drawn by the author himself.
India | US
Read More Like This
- Inspirational Parenting Quotes and Advice
- The Bhagvad Gita: A Selection by Ramesh Balsekar
- Dhammapada – Translated by Max Müller
- The Way of Chuang Tzu – Translation by Thomas Merton
- Spiritual Enlightenment: The Damnedest Thing by Jed McKenna
Recent Articles
I think it should say ‘bow’ in this sentence, instead of ‘arrow’.
“ Parents’ role is to be an arrow, that powers their children’s journey, aimed towards the future the children will live in.”
Thanks! Fixed it now.
Is there a possible mistake? I ask most politely. ‘Parent’s role is to be the arrow…’ but I thought the Parent’s role is to be the bow? Thank you, I will recommend your website to others who also love poetry though I feel that this transcends even poetry and is very helpful and soothing for our inner beings 🙂
Thanks for pointing out, Frank. Fixed it now!